Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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