next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
