matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize