Define "chronic" masturbator.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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