Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
