is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
50% drunk capacity currently
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
