the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
