how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
someone owes me an orgasm
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize