I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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