you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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