you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
