Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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