what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
