No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
