He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
