Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
