If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
time to smoke my breakfast
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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