we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
