I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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