I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize