It's like God shit irony all over that family
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
