So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize