I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
