what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
