dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
ttyl tear gas
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
