i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
