Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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