Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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