I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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