there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
