I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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