my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
