Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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