I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
