Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize