just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
