Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
