Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
