don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
