Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
