susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
