I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's official drugs can't kill me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
