The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
