By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
