Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
