I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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