id be glad to
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize