the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
