He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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