sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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