did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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