Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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