dude i'm inner monologue high
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
