just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
