I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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