dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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