I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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