I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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